My favorite tree. In my favorite hometown spot.
Five years ago, she was on fire. Orange as ever. I felt like I was on fire too. About to head off to Nepal, I was ready for what was next. That fall was spectacular.
This fall, she’s not so orange. No so well. Maybe she’s older, maybe she’s too tired to glow but don’t give up on her yet. Tree, I feel the same some days.
Let’s look closer though. She’s still got some orange fire in her leaves. She’s still in the game. So am I tree. So am I.
Time for a pep talk. I always have better years on the odd ones. Even if the events of the year are not great, they are always transformative? Glass half full? Seems people miss that the glass has something at all – water or wine, still something. So, my good people, going to try to make something of this new year. Here’s the best of the last one.
“I could never in a hundred summers get tired of this.”
Making memories, living life doesn’t mean I have stopped reflecting. It’s been an intense time of real adult style stuff. You can either go deep and connect through the story or you can instead share memories of happier times. This summer and fall I could do neither. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, something was just not right.
And then the show did drop. I’ll get there and share more or not. Life was upside down for a while but all seems slightly less so or maybe I am just better at it now.
Today we went Christmas tree shopping. The cub was not so thrilled. I remembered cutting a tree down is hard and it was slightly gloomy a day. Memories. In the end life in its imperfection makes better memories. It’s taken me almost half a lifetime to learn that. I always believed in the yin and yang of life, now I am just going focus on living it. Wish me luck.
Home. I haven’t been on any airplanes. I haven’t seen any exotic sights. I haven’t had jet lag. I have been with my people. I have been learning life lessons, the hard ones, the funny ones too. I am stronger, I am centered. Happier is a work in progress but it’s coming. And with that surely will come the airplanes and the lions, the jet lag and the weird curries. I just needed to catch my breath. Mend my heart (wasn’t so broken, just disappointed and dented) and needed to take a deep breath. Riding the wave of real life is the best kind of swimming there really is – you can’t dodge your fate, you can’t fool time, you can’t thrash around too much as you surely will drown that way. You have to be honest and when it stops being so terribly difficult, it’s like being at the top of the wave, you can always see the shore but you can also see the horizon and all the mystery that beckons there too. Balance. It’s a hard one but I’m going to give this a go before it’s too late to try at all. Love to my four readers and hello to the mysterious ones that pass by this space in the night.